Pinball has always been big on celebrity tie ins. As a result, we’ve got plenty of good machines to choose from since aside from a few missteps the industry has done a decent job of creating celebrity tie-in machines that work for their demographic and are compatible with the pinball ethos. For our best evaluation the quality of the game a factor well only be part of the criteria.

We’ll also consider the collectability of the machine, or more specifically consider if the theme enhances or detracts from the machines value to the pinball enthusiast aftermarket. This is may seem like a somewhat subjective criteria, but its actually a very important consideration to pinball collectors. Another way to look at this component is to consider the machines floor appeal in your den or rec room.

5) Eight Ball by Bally Manufacturing (1977)

Some would question if it belongs on the list at all for reasons we’ll discuss in a moment. If you didnt live through it, you have no idea of what a big deal Fonzie from the TV series Happy Days was during the mid to late 1970s. His popularity spilled over into other areas of popular culture, such as re-popularizing the leather jacket and bringing the word nerd back from the dead.

Eight Ball features the leather jacket clad Fonzie in a pool hall — or does it? The intent is certainly to suggest its the iconic Happy Days character but there’s no reference made to his name. Nor is there any other Happy Days iconography present on the machine. Debate rages to this day about whether or not it was a licensed image of Fonzie, or a lookalike doppelganger changed just enough to skirt copyright laws.

4) KISS by Bally Manufacturing (1979)

The makeup wearing, fire and blood spewing rock band almost begged to be immortalized with a pinball machine theme and in 1979 they were. You could make a case that this was a poorly timed release as by 1979 KISS was considered to be running on fumes, having just released their disco inspired album Dynasty. Fortunately, the machine depicted the band in all of their earlier glory and featured polyphonic renditions of classic songs like Rock n Roll All Night and Shout It Out Loud.

Personally, I have always liked how the graphics look more pinball like than I had first anticipated and are actually somewhat restrained (at least by KISS standards). The machine was fun to play, and was very popular with a production run of 17,000 units.

3) Wizard! by Bally Manufacturing (1974)

Inspired by the film version of Tommy,Wizard is often incorrectly named as the first licensed celebrity theme machine, but it definitely set off the flood of tie-in machines in the latter half of the 20th century. There were some pre-release rumors that it was based on the machine played by Tommy Walkers nemesis The Pinball Wizard in the film, but those are also incorrect.

The machine’s artwork was created by Dave Christiansen and its long on stylish symbolism and short of specific references to the film. Perhaps due to the films disappointing performance, the Wizard machine wasn’t considered a blockbuster with a production run of 10,000 units.  However, the music (and rock opera) live on, thus extending the cultural relevance of this machine.

2) Playboy by Bally Manufacturing (1978)

A pipe smoking Hugh Hefner and a bevy of bikini clad Playmates grace this homage to the magazine. With the Chicago roots of the magazine, a pinball machine tribute would have been a natural notwithstanding its significant cultural influence. This was the first of three Playboy licensed machine (subsequent releases were a 1989 35th Anniversary machine by Data East and a 2002 Stern Pinball release that offered both clothed and nude Playmate options) and in my opinion the best.

The machine art is by Paul Faris, widely considered one of the best ever by pinball geeks. The machine is a blast to play and captures all of the cool of Playboys early days including Leroy Neimans Femlin cartoon and digitized music based on the theme to the Playboy After Dark TV show composed by Cy Coleman. And, of course, Playboy’s legendary bunny head is everywhere. A perfect union of a great theme, amazing artwork and fun gameplay made this a very popular machine upon release (18,250 unit production run) and is prized by collectors even today.

1) Evel Kneivel by Bally Manufacturing (1976)

The Last of the Gladiators on a great pinball machine.

The fact that I could end the description with that sentence should convey why this is #1 on my list and completes a Bally Manufacturing sweep of the top 5. A simple, but fun to play design with all sorts of officially licensed Evel Knievel imagery. Fun gameplay combined with a theme that is off the charts in terms of cool makes this my choice for the best celebrity themed pinball machine ever.

And that racing stripe… well, at the time, it was cool, and now it just exudes campy goodness.

Cartoons reached their heyday in the 1980s, with stalwarts establishing high levels of quality (hey Power Rangers, ever hear of Voltron?) and the end of campy brand aggregators like Super Friends or Laff-A-Lympics.   This gilded era of cartoons made it possible for the emergence of prime-time toons come the very late 80s and onward.  And while we always will remember Optimus Prime and other iconic figures from these shows, we often overlook the sidekicks.  Here are the ten we remember most fondly (or otherwise in one case); your additions are welcome in the comments.

Snarf, ThunderCats

We’ll let Wikipedia take this one, because the writeup is intense:

A race of intelligent cat-like creatures, Snarfs are plump, fuzzy and kind. Snarfs are native to Thundera, living in the Valley of Snarfs, and many of their number act as servants to Thunderan nobility, happily working as cooks, nursemaids, squires and so forth. When Thundera was destroyed, forty-nine Snarfs were able to commandeer a Mutant tanker and made their way to an uninhabited planet which they took as their own, dubbing it the “Planet of Snarfs”. Later, when Mumm-Ra recreated Thundera, he captured the Snarfs and brought them back to their home planet, putting them to work searching for the Treasure of Thundera. Subsequently liberated by the ThunderCats, the Snarfs returned to living happily on Thundera.

Snarfs are the only creatures in the universe incapable of evil (except while possessed). Quick and clever, a Snarf is a loyal friend, though their small size often makes them a target for Mutants or other evil creatures. The Snarfs have proved to be valuable allies to the ThunderCats in times of peril. Though their fighting skills are more than wanting, the Snarfs have an inherent invulnerability/resistance to many (but not all) forms of magic and mind-control. This ability has enabled the Snarfs to save the other ThunderCats on several occasions. Snarfs are known to end their sentences with the squeaking exclamation for which they are named – “snarf, snarf!”

Orko, He-Man and The Masters of the Universe

A tough call for us — Orko or Cringer? — but we went with the unintentionally-meddlesome hovering wizard thing who had a knack for making bad situations worse, yet similarly making worse situations okay again.   His hat could hold objects well beyond the volume and shape of the hat, but only if that object had no meaningful purpose in being present.  In fact, one can’t help but wonder of Orko should have been a sidekick to MacGyver, giving him items useless to us mortals, but of specific value to one Richard Dean Anderson.

Interesting fact: Orko is a Trollan, and Trollans don’t show their faces unless in an intimate encounter.  During the entire series, Orko never once showed his face. Poor guy.

Scrappy-Doo, Scooby-Doo

We actually hate Scrappy-Doo.

Everyone hates Scrappy-Doo.  Really.  One person said to us, “I wish Scooby ate him,” and you know what?  We agree.

You just want to kick him and see how far he flies.  Maybe it’s his short-man-syndrome ego.  Maybe it’s the campy catch phrases like “Lemme at’em, I’ll scrap’em” (what the hell does that even mean?) or “Puppy Power!”   Maybe it’s the fact that the interplay of the five characters on the Mystery Machine was so perfect that the last thing they needed was Scooby’s douchebag cousin to come in and steal the spotlight.

It really is too bad that Shaggy and Scooby didn’t smoke a bowl get the munchies right before Scrappy got too near Scooby’s mouth.  Really.

GizmoDuck, DuckTails

You know a TV show is failing when they add a character which really has no purpose in the show; like when Leonardo Di Caprio joined the cast of Growing Pains.  (Really?  You’re going to take in some homeless teenager?)

GizmoDuck fits this mold perfectly.  He’s a superhero created by two losers — the suit is created by quack (sorry) inventor Gyro Gearloose and worn, without consent in some cases, by unnecessarily nervous Fenton Crackshell.  If those names barely invoke a memory, worry not; you’re not alone.

DuckTails, of course, is about a crazy rich duck who can buy anything, so it only makes sense that the superhero cyborg GizmoDuck would work for him for free.  No hazard pay, nothing.  Oh, and he didn’t go around revealing his true identity, so he doesn’t even get the glory.  On the other hand, the dude is pretty bad-ass, like a fictional version of Inspector Gadget.

Wait, what’s that?  Inspector Gadget is fictional too?

Well, shit.

Brain, Inspector Gadget

Penny was super smart and had balls of steel — and that neat computer book which makes an iPhone look like a chew toy.  But really, she could not have foiled Doctor Claw every episode, and certainly not within the 22 minutes (because of commercials) given to her, unless someone was there to keep Inspector Gadget out of trouble.

Brain fit the bill perfectly.  First, he was a dog, so he could keep his walkie-talkie in his dog collar and no one would be the wizer.  Second, he spoke with a gruffly accented English, making it unlikely nearby snoops would understand him, but certain that Penny would.  Third, apparently Gadget never could recognize the household pet, always believing him to be a M.A.D. agent.  Because you know, the stupidest detective on the planet would never in a million years think that the thing following him around like a puppy is, in fact, his dog.  Just sayin’.

Orbity, The Jetsons

If you are as geeky as we are, you almost certainly grew up idolizing Elroy Jetson.  Smart as shit, got to drive a flying car, and able to do things that his incompetent father could never even dream of.

And then he gets a pet Martian.

Lucky kid.

Starscream, Transformers

We feel for the guy, honestly.

Here are the salient facts:

1. The Autobots were, relatively speaking, much weaker than the Decepticons, transforming into lamer things (cars) which shouldn’t have been very advantageous.
2. Yet… Megatron transformed into a gun and need Starscream to pull his trigger, anyway.
3. And look at that picture.  STARSCREAM ALREADY HAS A BAD-ASS GUN AND DOES NOT NEED ANOTHER ONE.  Thanks.
4. Megatron was a crappy leader, failing to plan for success.  We don’t know if Starscream would have done better, but he couldn’t have done much worse.

Poor guy.

Bazooka, GI Joe

We’ve previously discussed how GI Joe characters can’t kill anything, due to a combination of horrible accuracy and insanely perfect escapes from otherwise-certain death.

So it only seems fair that the Joes would employ a bazooka-wielding guy, and, due to general lack of creativity, his name is Bazooka and he chews gum.  (Get it?  Bazooka Joe chews gum?)  And it also only seems fair that Bazooka would be the stupidest Joe ever, because let’s face it, anyone with half a brain would have a hard time missing with a bazooka.  If you want to decrease the death toll to, say, zero, you need to be sure that your bazooka gunner has less than half a brain.

Problem solved.

We salute Bazooka nonetheless, because everyone needs a little more firepower, and Cobra Commander is a whiny whiny bitch.

Scooter, Muppet Babies

Oh, how a life can go so wrong.

In Muppet Babies, Scooter is the brains of the organization.  Kermit is the lead, Piggy is the chick, Fonzie the confidant, Gonzo the comedic distraction.  When the shit hit the fan, it was all Scooter.  Here he is, pictured, doing something smart.

How this came to be, we’ll never know.  Maybe it was the glasses which threw off the animators and writers, or maybe it was the need for a smart character among a bunch of bumbling Muppets.  But either way, Scooter was the guy — until he grew up.   As an adult, Scooter is a “go-fer” at the Muppets’ theatre, and he only has the job because his uncle owns the joint.

But back in the day, when he was bit a diaper-clad cartoon, Scooter was the braniac we all aspired to be, allowing Piggy, Kermit, and the gang to avoid misadventure.

Smurfette, The Smurfs

Admit it, you had a crush on her, too.  But do you know where she came from?  Thanks to the magic of YouTube and the 15 minutes you are about to waste, you do now.

Who’d we miss?  Let us know, below.

Throughout comic book history, there have been terrible superheroes with stupid powers — we still can’t understand why the Wonder Twins exist, and why either of them would ever form half the things they did.   Our friends over at Manolith have gone one further, asking, if you had two super powers, which combos would be the worst?

Our favorite mis-cast combo?  Meat, meat meat, meat meat.  We’d have thrown in a “scratch self”, but hey, your dog may be more tactful.

Has anyone else ever looked at a MLB player and said to a buddy “I think i am going to grow THAT.”  I know I have said that and tried.  I can not last to endure the time it takes for a good fuzz but these next 10 men have lasted and wore some of the best fuzz around.

10. Clay Zavada

Clay wears this wonderful treat like a champ.  As explained further down its one of the most memorable features of Rollie Fingers.  Clay gives it his own twist as he stays bushy with a little twist.

9. David “Big Papi” Ortiz

Big Papi has had many versions of his facial scruff, but this is his best.  The chin strap that keeps that huge batting helmet on his head.

8. Bruce Sutter

Howard Bruce Sutter had the “I don’t care” on his face.  He was the first pitcher to make effective use of the split finger fastball he called “The Jewel.”  Bruce shared Jackie Robinson’s famous #42 jersey.  He lived and died by that slit finger fast ball and his crumb catcher was just along for the ride.

7. Johnny Damon

Have you seen the Geico Caveman commercials?  Well this man above you is straight out of the commercial.  In the days of Pedro bringing a midget into the clubhouse, Damon had birds living in his facial hair.  He looked like Jesus as he ran for flu balls in the outfield.

As part of the Yankees clean cut policy Damon had to clean up.  I don’t think it is the same person that played in Boston.

6. Scott Spiezio

Everyone has seen this strawberry Kool-Aid dye job on that nasty wad of fuzz.  We all want to forget it but it keep coming up in our memory.  What was Scott thinking when he walked out of the house with this on his face?  How did Tony La Russa let him walk out of the club house an onto the field?  Lets hope that we can all push this out of our mind and enjoy the future of the fuzz.

5. Oscar Gamble

Oscar Gamble remembered for his afro and this famous quote “They don’t think it be like it is, but it do.”  His fuzz was too good to touch, as he sported the mustache and big bushy chops.  As the afro changed shape the chops always stayed big and the stache bushy.  Can you see Ken Griffey Jr. decked out in the Oscar Gamble?

4. Jason Giambi

Jason Giambi hung this stache on his upper lip as he trimmed up the mullet and looked like a nice man you would want your daughter to bring home.  The Yankees are big on neat and trimmed players but they loved selling the “stache” to Yankee fans who gladly wore this while in attendance.

3. Jeff Bagwell

Jeff Bagwell a member of the famous Killer B’s of the Houston Astros.  I remember when Bags showed up to spring training with this monster on is face.  Bags usually wore a trimmed version of this but one spring he wanted a massive fuzz ball hanging from his chin.  The only reason he trimmed it again was Momma Bagwell told him to get that thing off his face.

2. King Kelly

Michael Joseph “King” Kelly played in the late 1800’s.  This female tickler was in a league of its own.  This looks like he taped a rat under his nose and slicked his hair back.

1. Rollie Fingers

Everyone knows Roland Glen “Rollie” Fingers.  When anyone mentions great facial hair in any sport Rollie always comes to mind.  Mr. Fingers is known for more than just the fuzz above his lip, as he essentially defined the role of the closer for years to come.  This fuzz is the hardest to keep up.  It has to be trained to stay curled up and keep its shape.  Lots of product is neeeded for Handle Bar mustache.

Now we wait for more young MLB stars to jump to the bigs and make a name for themselves with their facial fuzz.

F. Michael Jamison IV can be reached at mdjst5@gmail.com. Follow him on Twitter at @mdjst5

No, we’re not talking about the movie, but real, actually science facts which are weird.  Did you know that bellybutton lint comes from your boxers? Or that the Moon is slipping away from the Earth’s evil clutches? How about this one: animals can actually spontaneously explode:

On 2004, a buildup of gas inside a decomposing sperm whale, measuring 17 meters (56 ft.) long and weighing 50 tons, caused it to burst in Taiwan. The explosion was reported to have splattered blood and whale entrails over surrounding shop-fronts, bystanders, and cars.

Here’s a video of a similar explosion, and we apologize for the awful music.

Check out the other nine facts at oddee.com.

Being a Laker fan and living in Los Angeles means two things. One, I must vandalize half the city by destroying cars and looting stores when Kobe and company win championships. Two, I must watch every Jack Nicholson movie known to man. Sadly, I am nowhere near accomplishing either of these two challenges.

But I do feel as if I am making progress towards number two, as I sat down earlier this week to watch Jack star in the 2007 comedy-drama film, The Bucket List. While the movie was anything but entertaining, it did raise a valuable point about life – each day brings us closer to death.

Therefore, if we plan on living out our remaining days as sports fans to the fullest (I certainly do), there are certain things we must do before our final resting place is picked out. (note: this list is in no particular order)

1.) Go to a Dodgers-Giants game in Los Angeles and sit in the left pavilion

LA sports fans have a reputation for being easy-going and soft, but after sitting for nine innings in the pavilion at Chavez Ravine when the hated Giants head south, your perspective will change entirely. You will witness a passionate and fervent crowd that defies the typical Southern California stereotype of being too cool to even stand up in cheer. In fact, you will likely even be annoyed by the Dodger fan sitting in front of you, who stands up every five seconds to wave a blue beach towel and who routinely curses out the dude next to you who is wearing Giants gear. It may not be the most enjoyable experience ever, but it’s certainly an interesting one to say the least.

2.) Watch either Roger Federer or Tigers Woods play live

We may not realize it now, but both Federer and Woods are going to go down as the two greatest athletes in their respective sports. Already holding the record for most Grand Slam tennis titles at 15, Federer, who is just 27 years old, could easily win at least 20 championships and firmly cement his place as the greatest of all-time. Woods, who holds 14 major golf championships, is just five away from passing the legendary Jack Nicklaus for first all-time. Watching either play live would be an experience of a lifetime.

3.) Run with Ralphie

For those unaware, Ralphie the buffalo is the live mascot for the University of Colorado football team, and at each UC home game, she and a team of “Ralphie Runners” race around Folsom Field before kickoff. I’m not a Colorado fan by any stretch, but running with a 500 pound buffalo in front of 50,000 screaming fans would seem to be pretty exciting. At least, it’s a lot safer than what they do in Spain.

4. Tailgate at a Packers-Bears game

A barbecue spread with brats and brew describes just about every Packers home game, but it is magnified to another level when the Bears journey up the coast of Lake Michigan to Green Bay. With freezing temperatures and a town of 100,000 suddenly becoming Football town U.S.A. overnight, there is nothing else like it in the entire country. Heck, maybe even in 5 years, Favre will be playing for the Bears.

5. Spend a night in the ‘villes

Krzyzewskiville and Paternoville are the names for the tailgating scenes outside of Cameron Indoor Stadium at Duke and Beaver Stadium at Penn State. Because of the limited availability of tickets and seats, students must camp out and wait in long lines to gain admissions. It’s known as one crazy tailgate/camp out scene, and as a college sports fan, it’s something you don’t want to miss out on.

6. Play a game at the Field of Dreams

Used in the 1989 film starring Kevin Costner, the Field of Dreams in Dyersville, Iowa; is still visited annually by hundreds of baseball fans. The movie invokes deep feelings for viewers, as it reminds us of all what is pure and good about the sport we love so much. So to be able to actually play catch with one’s father on that field would certainly be a moment to cherish.

7.) Be Erin Andrews’s makeup artist for a college football season

I guess with the new Brüno film out this summer everybody is getting in touch with their feminine side, but seriously, I think this is actually quite the masculine endeavor. At this point, we all know that Miss Andrews is the sideline princess of college football, and when she is on camera, nearly every twenty year-old guy in this country stops what he is doing to watch. As Will Leitch once put it, she is “responsible for 35 percent of masturbation fantasies in the states of Iowa, Michigan, and Wisconsin.” Even Rey Maualuga is interested. Yup, you’d follow her around the country too. Even if you had to carry around a bag of “rubber dog shit.”

8.) Attend the World Cup

Whether you are a soccer fan or not, you must realize that the FIFA World Cup is by far the most popular sporting event in the entire world. Every four years, millions of sports fans stretching from North American to Asia tune into the 32-team tournaments to support their home countries. Outside of the United States, this is considered to be the greatest single sporting event so to simply be a part would be quite the memorable experience.

9.) Take in an NBA basketball game with Bill Walton

To be able to sit down and watch a 48 minute basketball game while sitting next to the legendary Bill Walton, the real most interesting man in the world, would be quite entertaining to say the least. While you might not get to speak often in between Walton’s long-winded talks about the evolution of the pick and roll and the lessons of John Wooden, you have the privilege of listening to one of the sharpest basketball minds of our time. .

10.) Sing “Take Me Out to the Ball Game” at Wrigley Field

You don’t have to be a professional signer to be invited to sing baseball’s anthem at the Friendly Confines. Mark Cuban, Charlie Weis, and Bill Murray, have all embarrassed themselves signing this favorite tune in front of the Cubs faithful. So, why not suck up to new management and head to Wrigley for a game. Maybe, they’ll have you in front of the microphone during the seventh inning stretch.