As any self-respecting sports gamer would know, the L.A. Raiders are totally off-limits on Tecmo Super Bowl for the NES… If playing a friend head to head, you’re simply not allowed to use them, because they’re the equivalent of having Jose Canseco inject you in the hindquarters with Bane’s venom serum before a game.

Why?

Bo Jackson, of course:

In real life: A Bosworth-flattening, long ball-hitting, baseball bat-over-the-knee-snapping two-sport marvel, Jackson was the sports world’s closest thing to a video game character incarnate. As a Los Angeles Raiders running back, Bo knew touchdowns; as a Kansas City Royal, he literally ran along walls; as a shoe pitchman, only Michael Jordan was his peer. Jackson was as much myth as man, but still — if you coldly assess his football numbers, he was a part-time player who never cracked 1,000 yards in a season and made only one Pro Bowl appearance.

In the game: Shiva the God of Death. Gaze upon Bo, ye Christian Okoyes, ye Jerry Rices, ye Dan Marinos. And despair.

When it comes to your video game counterpart far exceeding your real-life accomplishments, believe me, Bo Knows better than anybody.

Check out the other 11 overly-dominant digital athletes at ESPN.com.

Pinball has always been big on celebrity tie ins. As a result, we’ve got plenty of good machines to choose from since aside from a few missteps the industry has done a decent job of creating celebrity tie-in machines that work for their demographic and are compatible with the pinball ethos. For our best evaluation the quality of the game a factor well only be part of the criteria.

We’ll also consider the collectability of the machine, or more specifically consider if the theme enhances or detracts from the machines value to the pinball enthusiast aftermarket. This is may seem like a somewhat subjective criteria, but its actually a very important consideration to pinball collectors. Another way to look at this component is to consider the machines floor appeal in your den or rec room.

5) Eight Ball by Bally Manufacturing (1977)

Some would question if it belongs on the list at all for reasons we’ll discuss in a moment. If you didnt live through it, you have no idea of what a big deal Fonzie from the TV series Happy Days was during the mid to late 1970s. His popularity spilled over into other areas of popular culture, such as re-popularizing the leather jacket and bringing the word nerd back from the dead.

Eight Ball features the leather jacket clad Fonzie in a pool hall — or does it? The intent is certainly to suggest its the iconic Happy Days character but there’s no reference made to his name. Nor is there any other Happy Days iconography present on the machine. Debate rages to this day about whether or not it was a licensed image of Fonzie, or a lookalike doppelganger changed just enough to skirt copyright laws.

4) KISS by Bally Manufacturing (1979)

The makeup wearing, fire and blood spewing rock band almost begged to be immortalized with a pinball machine theme and in 1979 they were. You could make a case that this was a poorly timed release as by 1979 KISS was considered to be running on fumes, having just released their disco inspired album Dynasty. Fortunately, the machine depicted the band in all of their earlier glory and featured polyphonic renditions of classic songs like Rock n Roll All Night and Shout It Out Loud.

Personally, I have always liked how the graphics look more pinball like than I had first anticipated and are actually somewhat restrained (at least by KISS standards). The machine was fun to play, and was very popular with a production run of 17,000 units.

3) Wizard! by Bally Manufacturing (1974)

Inspired by the film version of Tommy,Wizard is often incorrectly named as the first licensed celebrity theme machine, but it definitely set off the flood of tie-in machines in the latter half of the 20th century. There were some pre-release rumors that it was based on the machine played by Tommy Walkers nemesis The Pinball Wizard in the film, but those are also incorrect.

The machine’s artwork was created by Dave Christiansen and its long on stylish symbolism and short of specific references to the film. Perhaps due to the films disappointing performance, the Wizard machine wasn’t considered a blockbuster with a production run of 10,000 units.  However, the music (and rock opera) live on, thus extending the cultural relevance of this machine.

2) Playboy by Bally Manufacturing (1978)

A pipe smoking Hugh Hefner and a bevy of bikini clad Playmates grace this homage to the magazine. With the Chicago roots of the magazine, a pinball machine tribute would have been a natural notwithstanding its significant cultural influence. This was the first of three Playboy licensed machine (subsequent releases were a 1989 35th Anniversary machine by Data East and a 2002 Stern Pinball release that offered both clothed and nude Playmate options) and in my opinion the best.

The machine art is by Paul Faris, widely considered one of the best ever by pinball geeks. The machine is a blast to play and captures all of the cool of Playboys early days including Leroy Neimans Femlin cartoon and digitized music based on the theme to the Playboy After Dark TV show composed by Cy Coleman. And, of course, Playboy’s legendary bunny head is everywhere. A perfect union of a great theme, amazing artwork and fun gameplay made this a very popular machine upon release (18,250 unit production run) and is prized by collectors even today.

1) Evel Kneivel by Bally Manufacturing (1976)

The Last of the Gladiators on a great pinball machine.

The fact that I could end the description with that sentence should convey why this is #1 on my list and completes a Bally Manufacturing sweep of the top 5. A simple, but fun to play design with all sorts of officially licensed Evel Knievel imagery. Fun gameplay combined with a theme that is off the charts in terms of cool makes this my choice for the best celebrity themed pinball machine ever.

And that racing stripe… well, at the time, it was cool, and now it just exudes campy goodness.

This awesomely elegant, simple to learn, impossible to master game is courtesy of our friend Bruce. Got a great game? Send it in at tips@awesome.ly and we’ll run it if it’s worthy.

Let us know if you get past level 31; we’re currently stuck.  Want to cheat?   Watch this video.

Thanks again to Bruce.

The highly anticipated Madden 2010 will be on shelves next month, and in anticipation of its release, I have decided to write the the ultimate Madden guide for the rules and proper etiquette for the game.

Quarter Length: 3 or 5 minutes
Difficulty: All-Pro or All-Madden
Penalty Frequency: Please keep normal. The game needs to be played the right way without holding, clipping, or other penalties. They are a part of the game whether you like it or not.

Picking Teams

• The host always gets first choice when it comes to the selection of teams, determination of the home stadium, and weather.
• You cannot play with the same teams. It’s a silly idea so you will just look like a major idiot if you even suggest such an idea like “hey, let’s both be the Steelers!!”
• The Patriots are off limits. While New England is arguably the best team in the NFL, EA annually makes them a near flawless team. Therefore, you are pathetic if you need to use the Pats to win. In order to show that you are the superior player, use a good but hardly invincible team like the Eagles, Packers, or even the Titans.

Randy Moss Rule

• While you may have a dominant receiver like the Patriots’ Randy Moss, please don’t throw it to him on every single play. A couple of months ago, I was playing against my brother and the only play he knew was a deep route to Moss. By throwing to just your star receiver, you end up looking like a seven year old.

Other In-Game Rules

• Do not use the same blitz package on every single down. This isn’t Madden 2000 so you do have more than one play — use them
• On offense, feel free to use the same play over and over, but you’re going to be beaten badly if you do.  Your choice.
• In the past, I always was a staunch proponent of no previewing your play. However, EA has now added a bluff screen, which can trick your opponent. With this now available, feel free to either check out your play or bluff.
• If you are winning by three touchdowns than there is no need to go for a two point conversion.
• If you are winning by a touchdown with less than a minute left in the game and your opponent has no timeouts than please, don’t take a knee. You don’t have to pass but a a FB smash would be a more respectable way to finish the game.  This isn’t the NFL and millions of dollars aren’t on the line.

Smack Talk

• Feel free to talk trash as long as you want, but if you start losing don’t get upset if your buddy starts talking back.
• As long as you don’t mind your buddy jumping for joy, you’re free to celebrate as much as you want.

Breaks/Timeouts

• Do you really have to use the restroom or get a quick snack? Or, is this some way for you to stop your friend’s momentum and readjust your strategy? You can only take a break if it’s okay with both parties. However, at halftime, you’re more than welcome to leave the gaming area for a trip to the john or quick stop in the kitchen.

Leaving the Game

• Are you getting killed? Down by 28 after the first quarter? You can whine all you want, but you’re in it until the other party gives up too. Expect to get routed, and take it like a man.
• If you’re good enough to build up a 28 point lead than feel free to celebrate even after your tenth touchdown of the night.
• If you’re playing in a group and you are losing by at least 28 points in the second half, then the person winning may end the game so the next person can play.