That ad on the right?  It’s from Google.  They power it.  Most of the ads suck, we know.   But we just saw an awesome one and had to share:

Kids: Being “Cute” Since 2006.

‘Tis true.  We don’t know how.  The other five finalists are actually attractive.

From Flickr via The Inquistr comes this protest that even we can get behind.  Healthcare?  Meh.  Iraq?  What’s that?  North Korean?  Annyong!

Little Johnny Newspaperman apparently failed grade school health.

[Thanks, ProbablyBadNews!]

And for 2000 years, it’s been passed on to generation after generation, finally reincarnating itself (pun unintentional!) as a 1990 E-Class 2.6. With Florida plates reading “BRAIN”.

Are we making this up? Not exactly. Witness this eBay auction for the car in question, pictured below. Then check out the description.

The description:

In case you can’t read it, here’s what that says (or click the image for a bigger version):

*Owner’s Belief: he’s a descendant of Roman Emperors, and just as well Jesus Christ (what’s that worth?!)
He’s written over 180 reasons why he thinks this is true (he’ll provide a copy – over nine pages hand written – to you with your nonrefundable deposit of at least 25% towards the purchase of the vehicle, and thus subsequent agreement hereto of 2% royalties of Gross Sales Revenue, assumable-indefinitely-transferal, to the Owner herein in the event of authorized or unauthorized publication).

Come on… Muhammad has descendants… it’s not that big of a deal. And yes, the owner thanks the Roman Catholic Church for keeping Christ’s descendants protected through the obliteration veil (how would you treat Jesus Christ’s children? In effect through Jesus Christ’s teaching, we’re all God’s children).

SERIOUS OFFERS ONLY

Dear blessed Millionaire: just think of this purchase as giving back to God’s children and works as a form of tithing. The owner promises to put the money to good use (Real Estate Development blessed in Jesus Christ’s name).

God bless you Mercedes Benz concierge!

Those who care can get a non-Jesus version of the same car — in a newer model — for cheaper.

It seems like a ludicrous question… until you watch this video.   JD, our intreped backpacker, goes to Europe for two weeks.   His girlfriend, Em, apparently did not get the memo, and reacts accordingly.  Hilarity — of the train wreck variety — ensues.

We’re not sure who we feel bad for more, and we’ll add a third lesson to JD’s two:

3. If she doesn’t listen to important things like, “I’m so excited to go to Europe tomorrow” or “love ya babe, I’ll see you in two weeks,” maybe she’s not all that good of a girlfriend.

Or… not. But hey, it happens.  In this case, police in Washington State got a call that a guy was jumping up and down on the hood of a car outside a local bar.  By the time the cops arrived, things got worse:

[The officer] said he found 25 or more people fighting in the parking lot.  Police tried to separate the groom and his two friends, but the men started pushing the officer.  [He] called for backup, and more than 25 officers and deputies from Spokane Valley Police, Spokane Police, Washington State Patrol and the Spokane County Sheriff’s Office responded to the scene.

After authorities broke up the fight, they arrested the honored bachelor [and two of his friends].  All three are charged with assaulting a law enforcement officer, among other charges.

No word on whether the bachelor’s soon-to-be-wife still holds that title.

[Thanks, KHQ!]

Our advice: Don’t try this at home.  Even if they did.

Bride’s Wedding Cake Ignites Her Husband

Man Gets To Be His Own Birthday Candle

You may need to click the PC one to zoom in, in order to make sense of it… but even then, your mileage may vary.

Upgrading Your PC To Windows 7

Upgrading Your Mac to Snow Lepoard 10.6

Thanks, Dean!

This is probably the worst “best answer” ever.

And yes, it’s real.