As any self-respecting sports gamer would know, the L.A. Raiders are totally off-limits on Tecmo Super Bowl for the NES… If playing a friend head to head, you’re simply not allowed to use them, because they’re the equivalent of having Jose Canseco inject you in the hindquarters with Bane’s venom serum before a game.

Why?

Bo Jackson, of course:

In real life: A Bosworth-flattening, long ball-hitting, baseball bat-over-the-knee-snapping two-sport marvel, Jackson was the sports world’s closest thing to a video game character incarnate. As a Los Angeles Raiders running back, Bo knew touchdowns; as a Kansas City Royal, he literally ran along walls; as a shoe pitchman, only Michael Jordan was his peer. Jackson was as much myth as man, but still — if you coldly assess his football numbers, he was a part-time player who never cracked 1,000 yards in a season and made only one Pro Bowl appearance.

In the game: Shiva the God of Death. Gaze upon Bo, ye Christian Okoyes, ye Jerry Rices, ye Dan Marinos. And despair.

When it comes to your video game counterpart far exceeding your real-life accomplishments, believe me, Bo Knows better than anybody.

Check out the other 11 overly-dominant digital athletes at ESPN.com.